Decision making...

Yes…I was having a huge issue with ...decision making!
Does not mean that I am out of it completely but yes , comparatively I am making progress! Now at least I am not having those confusing bad trips which I used to have while making any kind of decisions!

When I say any kind of decision.. it includes from a small thing like deciding which road to take to go home to what I would like to do with life.
If I had an option of taking someone’s help in deciding the next move.. I have always chosen that!
Over all... It was not a good trip!

Every time I have these kind of bad trips .. I used to do a round of introspection looking for the root cause of my behavior. Which usually was giving me answers too, but its a different story that the answer was not helping me to change my behavior!

I was doing one such introspection today while I was taking a walk to no where...
and I figured out a weird reason ! :) Here it is...

We always loved our childhood and the life we had as kids because, we were only making decisions for that moment's pleasure! Like, which chocolate I want to make me happy for that moment, from the 101 chocolates at sight in any given shop!
Once decided, half job is done and it was my Dad's headache to get me that!
[Actually I think I had problem even then because I always wanted to have all the chocolates in the shop! ]

I was spending most of my time in the school!
I didn't choose that school either, my parents did!

I knew exactly what am I am supposed to do after going home!
Go out and play with other kids and be back home when I was hungry!
Then,
Homework .. ahhh I hated it! But to avoid tomorrow's bad trip in front of the cute girls in my class, I did that too!

I also knew what am I going to do the next year!
If I could get the marks required, then get promoted to next standard else study one more year in the same class!

This story continued for a long long time and I got in to a job!
Started earning my own bread and butter! Mmmm.. sounds delicious.. and at least now I can go and buy all those chocolates in that shop but.. Na... Not interested… any more !

There were many episodes missed, before I could get a job, where I was supposed to make a decision of my own but ... there were always people around to do it for me ( In the name of help / suggestion! Ahh.. I wish I knew then what I know now!! Anyway.. Past tense!)

I think this is the stage ( after getting the job ), when I started facing lot of issues with making decisions! Because, the now most of the decision we make will usually have the potential to alter our life forever. Decision what we make has lot of weight age for ourselves now! And there are not many people who are even ready to suggest because if something goes wrong with that decision... they know easily we will hold them responsible for screwing things up! Hmmm... pretty intelligent people, playing safe!
So... Its completely up to us, to decide what we want to and what we don’t want to do!

I was having the difficulty.. cos I was not much in to the decision making business before! I think , the lack of experience was causing the issue!

I know, I know! You might ask, what happened to all the experience you have gained with your life all these days and all that... and its true that I am more experienced now and I can make decisions ... but this is just one random thought which had popped up in my mind at which I was laughing in the beginning but not anymore!